2. Sem 8036: Soft Skills

 Body language and distance

To start: Greetings: Compare handshake and bowing

Body language

 There are a number of different uses of non-verbal communication.

Modifying speech

Non-verbal communication has a significant effect on what is communicated. Modifications include:

• Positioning of body relative to other people and things
• Shape of whole body
• Movement of limbs, head and fingers
• Micro-movement of muscles
• Skin color and texture
• Voice pitch
• Texture of voice tone
• Speed of speaking
• Sweating
• Bodily smells (eg. pheromones)

Speech modifiers are particularly significant when taken combination with speech and when used at key points in speech, for example in creating emphasis.

Replacing speech

Communication can be done without speaking. For example:

• Pointing with feet, legs, hands, head or whole body
• Gestures with fingers, hands and arms.
• Tilting of head
• Movement of any combination of the 90 muscles in the face.

Replacement for speech can be direct one-for-one gestures with clear meaning or may be less obvious or conscious movements that signal requests, attitudes and intent.

Controlling conversation

Conversation is a process of turn-taking in talking. Non-verbal signals are used a great deal in requesting, offering and managing control of who is speaking. This includes:

• Butting into speech to take control.
• Speaking louder or faster to retain control.
• Pausing to allow others to butt in.
• Stopping to request others to speak.
• Leaning forward and moving to request speaking.
• Looking away or moving back to show non-readiness to listen.

Conveying personality and status

Non-verbal communication extends beyond bodily actions to anything that sends messages. This includes much about who you are, and in particular where you fit into the social hierarchy. Such items include:

• Dress, including style, tidiness, coordination.
• Personal adornments, from jewellery to watches and badges.
• Office and desk space at work, including size and type of computer, chair, etc.
• Items owned, from cameras to cars to houses.

Expressing emotion

Emotions are particularly expressed through non-verbal communication, where the voice and body can tell a lot more about how you feel than your words. In particular, if you feel unable to express emotions verbally, your words and body language can easily conflict, sending messages that may be interpreted as stress or deceit. 

 TRY TO EXPRESS A SPECIFIC EMOTION WITHOUT WORDS.

Multiple meanings

A problem with reading people is that body language can have multiple meanings. People who are relaxed fold their arms, as do people who are cold. Touching your face may signify thinking and a whole host of other things.

Similarly people who are introverts are more easily over-stimulated -- especially by other people. Particularly if you are extravert, when you are trying to connect with them, you may actually be winding them up! Their negative-seeming body language is just them trying to find a safe space.

Synchrony

One secret of reading body language is to look for things that happen at the same time. Thus if you ask them a searching question and they close their body, then this may be an indication that they do not want to tell the truth. It may also, of course, mean that they do not like your aggressive style, so you should be aware of your part in the dance and change your style accordingly.

Clusters

Another secret of reading body language is to look for clusters multiple transitions, for example where a person crosses their legs and arms together and looks away.

The result of trying to control your body is that you send mixed messages and just look like a person who is trying to control their errant body. The effect of this is that you will appear untrustworthy and manipulative.

 TRY TO EXPRESS TWO DiFFERENT EMOTION WITHOUT WORDS AT THE SAME TIME.

Haptic communication

Communicating by touch. This is used in a number of contexts and also has dangers for the unwary as touching for example where another person can, in particular circumstances, be interpreted as assault.

Touch is often intimate and can be used as an act of domination or friendship, depending on the context and who is touching who, how and when.

Young children and old people use more touching than people in the middle years.

Touch provides a direct contact with the other person. This varies greatly with the purpose and setting.

Punishment

Touch can be negative as well as positive and a slap or a punch sends a very strong message.

Greeting

Touching is a common part of many greeting rituals, from shaking hands to cheek-kissing to full-body hugs.

Such communication is highly ritualized and can contain subtle symbolism. For example clasping the other person for a fraction of a second longer than normal can send such different signals as affection and domination.

Guiding

When a person is physically moving, a touch on the body, usually the back, shoulder or arm can guide them in the right direction.

Gaining attention

When you touch another person who is talking or otherwise engaged elsewhere, they are very likely to turn their attention to you.

Touching here is very much in safe areas, such as the arm or shoulder.

Saying their name at the same time reinforces strongly this move.

Sympathy

When we are distressed, we will often appreciate the touch of another as a parent, providing physical comfort.

The degree of touch in such circumstances varies greatly with the relationship, ranging from a gentle touch on the arm to an arm around the shoulder to a full-body hug.

Friendship

Touching is often a part of friendship and demonstrates closeness. Friends will walk close together and occasionally bump into one another. They will touch more during greeting and may spontaneously touch one another during communication.

 DISCUSS: RULES FOR TOUCHING IN GERMANY COMPARED TO OTHER COUNTRIES.

Kinesic communication

Communicating by body movement. Perhaps the most well-known non-verbal form of communication, although it is not the only way to talk with others without words.

Body posture

The way that the body is held can communicate many different messages.

An open body that takes up a lot of space can indicate comfort and domination, whilst a closed-in body that makes itself small can signal inferiority.

Copying of the other person's body shows agreement, trust and liking.

Gestures

Gesture is communicating through the movement of body and arms.

Ekman and Friesen (1969) identified five types of gesture:

• Emblems: Direct replacements for words.
• Illustrators: Shaping what is being said.
• Affect displays: shows of emotion.
• Regulators: for controlling the flow of conversation.
• Adaptors: Self-oriented tension relievers and other forms.

Facial signals

When we communicate with others, we look mostly at their face. This is not a coincidence as many signals are sent with the muscles in the face. The way the head tilts also changes the message.

The eyes are particularly important, and when communicating we first seek to make eye contact. We then break and re-establish contact many times during the discussion.

Eyebrows and forehead also add significant signals, from surprise to fear to anger.

The mouth, when not talking can be pursed, downturned or turned up in a smile.

 TELL A STORY ONLY WITH YOUR FACE.

Distance: How near is too near?

  Contact: Prof. Dr. Wolfgang Georg Arlt FRGS
Bachelor and Master Program International Tourism Management
arlt@fh-westkueste.de, Office 2.018, Tel. 0481 8555-513
Consultation hours (during lecture period): Tuesday 16.00 - 17.00 h